Sweet Treat
Hello friends! It’s been over two months since my last entry. Life has been life-ing a lot recently, making it harder to prioritise this blog, but I’ve managed to make some time this week to get back to what I enjoy. That and Squarespace is still taking money from my account, reminding me that I’m actually paying to do this, so let me get to work.
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I was an unusual child, I liked any sort of physical health check-up - going to the GP, opticians, I even enjoyed blood tests. I think I liked it so much because I have been fortunate enough to have never received devastating news relating to my health, so I was just being told that I’m doing well, or if there was an issue, it could easily be remedied (my need for external validation will be my downfall, I know). So when I went to the dentist for the first time in a long time last November, I was ready to get my glowing report, but that is not what I received.
“Damage is on the way”. My dentist showed me an X-ray of my teeth and asked me about my eating habits. The conversation went something like this:
Dentist: so do you eat sweets often?
Tuso: no, not really
D: do you like fizzy drinks?
T: no
D: hmm, well there are early signs of decay from sugar, do you know where this could be coming from in your diet?
T: *panic* I do enjoy baking
D: how often do you bake?
T: like every week
D: ahh, is that for a business?
T: *more panic* umm no…it’s just a social thing
D: What sort of sweeteners do you use in your baking?
T: … sugar
D: Right *serious side-eye*
He had a chat with me about what would happen to my precious molars if I didn’t change my habits, prescribed me some special toothpaste and further advised how I could improve my dental health. Just hold this thought.
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I was so annoyed after that dentist appointment, grateful for my prescription, but annoyed. If I’ve had a rough day, I will find a sweet treat on my way home, or plan which new bake I’m going to try on the weekend, a reward for my perseverance. I was like “what am I meant to do now?”, though he literally just told me what to do. I really had to sit with myself and consider why I was worked up, then I realised that I was going to have to find a new source of comfort, a source of control.
Sugar is my vice. We all have something to “take the edge off”, right? A pint after a long week, a cigarette on your lunch break, a blunt at the end of the night, clicking “confirm purchase” on payday, counting down the days to your next holiday. I’m not judging your choice of poison (I’m literally going to have holes in my teeth if I don’t pattern up), I just think it’s interesting that all of these options can serve the same purpose: the littles things that make life more bearable but come at a cost, whether that be financially, physically or both! I will say though, if I say I fancy a sweet treat and you pass me your blueberry blast flavoured vape, I’m throwing it back at your face. Leave the vapes alone!!
Pondering on this led me to a beautiful essay written by Ismatu Gwendolyn where they spoke on our addiction to comfort (you can read/listen to it here). They made the point that this addiction is what makes revolution impossible, and I would like to partner that with the fact that some of our sources of comfort literally fund destruction. McDonalds and Burger King have donated meals to the Israeli soldiers who continue to annihilate the people of Palestine. I don’t want to fund that, I don’t want to support that. One of the biggest ways we can stand up for Palestinian people is by draining their oppressor’s pockets (which is hard when they are backed by the US but alas, boycott list here, if you have one that’s more up to date, please let me know!)
But outside of boycotting, I think it’s hard to even engage in conversation about liberation without people squirming a bit. Last week, I was talking with some friends about colonisation and I could feel the air tighten up as a couple of them were giving me their “Tuso, please not now” eyes. And I get it, there is a time and place for everything, but then and there was perfectly fine, they just felt uncomfortable. It’s time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Back in 2020, at the height of the Black Lives Matter resurgence, the focus was on the evil that is white supremacy, and white people had the pressure on them to stay engaged in conversation, and so many of them did. Now, I’ve had it where I’ll criticise white supremacy and a white person will ask me “what happened?”, so as to ask “why should I care about racism right now? Did someone die?”. As long as white supremacy is alive and kicking, there is always a reason to bring it up. As long as Palestine is being obliterated, there is a reason to bring up the freeing of Palestine. As long as a group is being oppressed, there is always a reason to bring up liberation. You know what they say, we are not free until all of us are free.
Sigh.
I won’t lie, the hopelessness has been creeping in and I’m trying to keep it at bay, I just don’t like feeling like I’m twiddling my thumbs when there’s so much to be done.
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I only bake for specific occasions now, I use my special toothpaste every day, and I try not to pick up a sweet treat on my way home (I sometimes fail) - I can keep this up to ensure that I still have teeth twenty years from now. What do we have to give up, or maintain, to ensure that we still have Palestinian people who have a home twenty years from now?
I know it isn’t all on us to fix the way this planet is governed, but at the same time, it low-key is. Revolution takes time and commitment.
Question your comfort.
Love.
(Oh and Ramadan Mubarak to all who observe)
Resources:
Boycott Lists
https://www.ipsc.ie/campaigns/consumer-boycott
https://www.ihrc.org.uk/boycott-genocide/ - click download leaflet at the top of the page for more info
Not me using TikTok as as resource, but this one is good! - watch / listen here
