Summer Love
Picture this. It’s a Thursday afternoon and I’m home alone, blasting music on the speaker as I’m crying my eyes out on the toilet. I don’t really have a reason to be upset, but the tears are flowing nonetheless so I don’t hold them back. I’m singing along to my music, trying to figure out why I feel so low, when suddenly, my theatrical moment is interrupted by the rattling of my phone on the tiled floor. A phone call from a friend. This friend doesn’t usually call me, so I brace myself to receive urgent news. Though I know he can’t see me, I still wipe away the tears, then I accept the call and say, “heya, you okay?”. He asks if I am doing anything, I figure I should keep the whole crying-on-the-toilet situation to myself, so I say “no, nothing much, I’m free. Why?”.
An hour later, I was on a fast train to Birmingham to hand deliver his passport before his holiday flight took off without him. Now that’s what I mean when I say summer love.
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If you are anything like me, then you grew up watching rom-coms, which means that you’ll understand that the muggy warm air isn’t just polluted, it is also full of potential for a cheeky summer romance. You know how the story goes – making the most of long days and short nights, sharing ice-cream in the park, watching the sunset, admiring how the sunbeams make your crush’s eyes sparkle, fighting against the sands of time because when the summer ends, so will your love. It’s cringe, its cheesy, it’s delusional… but it’s fun! However, I spent so much time ingesting these narratives that it definitely set me up for a disappointment.
I hate to admit it, but I spent far too much time discussing and planning my ideal romance growing up. I probably knew my ideal wedding dress before I could write my last name. But that was the norm, all of the girls I knew were raised with the same patriarchal ideology that your life truly begins when you meet the love of your life, i.e. a handsome, rich young man (or alternatively, a handsome, funny, rich young man with a nice personality, if you’re feeling liberal). Fortunately for me, another feature of girlhood is the encouragement of friendship, so I have always had people to lean on, and thankfully these relationships, in addition to the relationships within my family, allowed me to come to my senses. Love doesn’t have to be a rarity that you search for in one person, rather love can be a life-altering force that will show it’s face wherever you are willing to see it.
pics from previous summers with my lovelies
My most recent love exercise came from the fact that I have a new title: I became an auntie! Again, two months ago (May was cute), we gained an adorable addition to our family, one of my sisters had a baby, and it has been so funny watching each family member graduate into their new status. We are so eager to love our new munchkin as much as we possibly can. For now there isn’t a lot for me to do with my niece outside of rocking her to sleep and changing her diaper, but still, even in those moments, I get excited thinking about how I can be there for her in the future (is it unrealistic to get a baby walking at three months old? That is one of my goals for the summer).
Let me wrap this up by saying, the greatest loves of my life thus far have not been romantic, teen Tuso would have been upset about that, but this Tuso is just happy to be love and be loved. If you have read my last few posts, you’ll know that community is a gift that I value, so please seek love out in as many places as you can and may love find you, wherever you may be.
If you want to go on an adventure, get in touch and I’ll sort something out!
See you in the next one! x
